crazy folk

This is my eye. (Don't worry I have another eye, but this is the eye I wish to discuss)
So many have questioned this eye.

Made ludicrous remarks about this eye.

Even gossiped about this eye.

This eye is quite the popular eye.

Well let me set the record straight:
No I do not apply eye liner in a tiny dot on the center of my lower lash line.
I may be insane, but this is going to far... even for moi.

Then what is that gross looking bump on your eye Parveen?
It's a birthmark imaginary friend.

So lesson learned: Parveen is not crazy and does not apply make up products in order to make you go crazy wondering why she is so crazy.

Over used word of the day = crazy

a bit insane

I love school supplies

understatement of the year, trust me

But as my blissful trip to Staples was ending I realized...

I didn't have a pencil case... sureeeee there were those extremely disgusting pencil cases in the back bin that were crazily over priced - but they just were not THE pencil case

*Fast forward through the emotional trauma associated with not having the perfect pencil case*

Yesterday, while waiting for our movie to start, Tiffani and I

*Pause* Tiffani = gal pal (yeap, I'm not below saying gal pal)

Right so Tiffani and I went to our favourite store of all time, Chapters of course and came acrossTHE MOST perfect creation of all time:

I think it's amazing, don't agree? Well you're just not loafable.

Actually no, let us agree to disagree? You can still be loafable.

You're cool.

You read this.

Moving along...

explaination

Okay so blogger just decided to screw me over...
or rather I wanted to "copy and paste this picture in" so BRIGHT IDEA why not cut out all the text, copy and paste in the picture and THEN paste in the text...
yea, that text is long gone.
I just wanted to throw a quick blog out there as cleaning my room becomes less and less appealing as the hours (yes hours... it took me half an hour to clean one corner... no exaggeration) go by.
So here it goes:

Have you been constantly contemplating the possible meanings of Lemon Loaf?
Do you lose sleep over the confusing title of Parveen's amazing (bursts out laughing) blog?!
Have you gone on long walks in order to ponder the meaning of Lemon Loaf only to stumble upon random chalk writing such as:

(seriously someone found this randomly while thinking about what "Lemon Loaf" was and was kind enough to share it with me)

Well today is your lucky day...

I LOAF You --> Loaf
Obsession to Lemons --> Go suck a Lemon --> Go suck a Lemon with sugar
Loaf + Go suck a lemon with sugar --> Lemon Loaf

I know that made such great sense.

Well have a wondrous day blog world, I gotta get back to the chaos collecting in my room.

This is how I see it

Hm this is how I feel and since the way a person feels is never wrong, this is right? gah. So I feel the sky is blue therefore it is because I can not feel wrong? Where was I going with this?

Ah yes.

As I lay on my bed thinking about recent events I had the "ah ha" moment.

When I first came into Sikhi, not that I can be classified as a Sikh yet seeing as I am far from the ideal, but moving on: when I first came into Sikhi and began attending various programs everything seemed so... glossy. Yes glossy, as if everything was a snapshot out of a magazine labelled "Gursikh Weekly" (ignore that my imaginary magazine sounds more like a newspaper). But once I became more familiar with the people around me, I realized they all have their own flaws, which is totally understandable and valid. No one can be perfect, and especially when it comes to religion. Personally I feel with Sikhi there is many personal interpretations to things. Of course there are some things we all agree on, but on others like minuscule details such as "is black a proper distaar colour" are left up to one's own opinion.

Now my growing interest for Sikhi wasn't killed when I found out that those around me had their own struggles, actually it inspired me even more knowing that we were all working on this together - all there for each others support.

Or well so I thought.

Today this is how I see it: everyone judges each other. And I mean in our sangat it's a huge problem... again this is just how I see it. I see people making huge mistakes... and I want to talk to them about it so they can improve because I've gone through similar circumstances and feel I can give some advice - but no, that would be classified as being in other peoples business. Hm, I know a lot of people say it - but when I call someone Bhanji or Bhaji, I really do see them as just that, my family... I quickly realized that isn't how it works here in sangat.

Now don't get me wrong, I've met some amazing Gursikhs through various programs and events and etc. and there ARE people out there who support those around them and that's amazing... but recently more than ever all I see is "cliques" if you will. That may not be the best word for them but hear me out. What I see is people who make excuses for their friends... but then if someone out of their circle does something similar -it's all over the world in 20 seconds. I see people lecturing others on things that they themselves do... just out of public view?

I'm not saying I'm this perfect being who never make mistakes... but I do admit to them? I mean if I wear certain colours out of sangat I do it IN sangat too... I mean I don't hide who I really am to make myself look like this amazing Gursikh that I'm not.

And I know this is completely classified as my judging those people around me... but it hurts.

When I see a Singhnee dressed horribly outside of sangat and I want to reach out to her... but I feel trapped in this fear of gossip so I leave it alone, keep to myself. But then next week while coming home from school I decide to run to the Gurdwara instead... yes I'm wearing what I wear at school... two days later "Parveen was wearing jeans at the Gurdwara" is all people are talking about. Now this is a horrible example but you get the idea.

How come some people get this magical card that says it's okay for them to live two different lives? One where they are this perfect Gursikh and other where they are free to do whatever, while others are judged constantly. Why can't everyone just be real with each other, HELP each other through this path - why can't we be a proper panth?

it's been a long timeeee

It's been a long timeeeee

It's been a long timmeee

Since I've seen you my frienddddd

But now I'm going to think about you everydayyy

aayyyyy ay,

Now I'm going to think about you everdaayyyy

Or you know:

bahuth janam bishhurae thhae maadhho eihu janam thumhaarae laekhae ||

For so many incarnations, I have been separated from You, Lord; I dedicate this life to You.

Or you know:

http://www.sevatothemax.com/mp3s/files/Keertan/Keertan%20By%20Shabad/Hou_Bal_Bal_Jaon_Ramia_Karney_GS.mp3

Today I saw, after quite a long time, the man that changed my life. Dramatic statement though it is, but Giani Swarn Singh Ji was, is my lighthouse to the Guru Ghar. He saw something in me that I could never have seen in myself. Granted, I never appreciated any of what he did for me. Not the hours he spent lecturing us on the condition of the human soul or the stories he crafted to teach us the path of life our Guru Sahib had left for us. We sat in his classes doodling and caring less, but still he made an ever lasting impression on my life. He always thought much to highly of me; maybe it was a good thing, it made me strive to keep trying to become what he thought I was.

I've never seen him without a smile; always a spring in his step with his rice bag full of folders and pens - he is my angel on Earth. He never ceases to amaze me with his stamina or his crazy analogies that though at first seem silly, have truths I'll never be able to comprehend.

At first I would believe everything he told me, never questioning his knowledge. As time went on I began asking questions and later even having full out argumentative discussions. As my knowledge grew, I found we disagreed on certain things; still he loved me. He's always willing to step up to the plate, bring new souls onto the path and he was and is always willing to listen when I've missed a step.

I could go on and praise this man forever, but in short without him I would not have the extreme pleasure of sitting in sangat, doing kirtan, coming to camps or any of the things I'm blessed with. Though many seem dislike him, he's my hero.

Today I saw, after quite a long time, the man that changed my life - cane in hand. My Giani Ji? With a cane? C'est impossible! But there he was looking slightly tired and for the first time in my life, old. And then it hit me, "Life is nothing but the absence of Death" - as death is unavoidable. And then of course being the weak person I am, I cried. I don't know why- but I cried. People come and go in our lives; all make impressions both good and bad. Giani Ji made such an impression on my life I can't begin to explain though I've attempted here. Now the wheels in my head began turning and I thought:

What's the point of being here, if I can't change at least one life. If we all took it upon ourselves to change just one life - how much better would this world be?