enjoy the small things

Anger is an odd concept.
I want to rip it out of my core and throw it away.
 Definitely not the time to recycle.

Only if I have something important to say

I'm a girl.

I like the colour blue sometimes

when the weather is fine. Of course.

Pink I save for weekends, sometimes.

I'm a girl.

I like to skateboard...

you know if I could.

Knitting, of course, is for the weekends

in my imagination, because I can't.

I'm a girl.

I like eating beyond my stomach's capacity

- there really is nothing else to it.

I let the flowers in my garden be dainty.

Sometimes...

I define myself -

without using my genders stereotype

...sometimes.

Mon frere. You see the accent.

Random unrelated photo I saw today and enjoyed immensely... My brother truly is my best friend because when  everyone else is busy, I can still bully him into playing 7 hours of Monopoly Spongebob version with me. 

1. I say I'm 5'2" but I just made that number up one day because I don't care enough to actually measure      myself.
2. I wish I could wear a suit 24/7 preferably a blue one. Ignore the pink in above photo.
3. This was the ONLY picture I had of myself in "My albums" on my computer that was of just me. 
4. Sometimes I listen to Hindi songs, pretend their not sexual and are rather spiritual and sing them very loudly around the house.
5. I wish I could sing. Well technically I can sing. Rephrase: I wish I could sing well (Y)
6. I am in the definition of an overly organized procrastinator. 
7. Lemons are not something I am actually obsessed with. Cool word + cool colour = I just enjoy them.
9. I enjoy speaking French when it is unnecessary.
8. The number eight was not skipped on purpose. I'm actually that genius. I thought I'd let you share in my moment.
10. I find it pathetically invigorating that I don't have a cell phone.

true love

I don't really know where I plan to go with this post, but my mind is much too frazzled to sleep or to do homework. 

prabhaathee ||

Prabhaatee:

aval aleh noor oupaaeiaa kudharath kae sabh ba(n)dhae ||

First, Allah created the Light; then, by His Creative Power, He made all mortal beings.

eaek noor thae sabh jag oupajiaa koun bhalae ko ma(n)dhae ||1||

From the One Light, the entire universe welled up. So who is good, and who is bad? ||1||

http://sikhitothemax.com/page.asp?ShabadID=4892

I am disappointed in my fellow human beings. 

Background information:

I was being the lazy arse of a being that I am and was flipping through the television channels when I landed on a documentary/CNN report on a small town in the USA. The piece basically consisted of a reporter interviewing various people in the community on the subject of the mosque being built in the town. 

I think I died inside.

(There was one young girl who was trying to get the true message of Islam out - she made me believe in the world of tomorrow.)

Otherwise - I died inside.

Hm ramble time (please note this has no structure and is not meant to flow in any way. Choppy emotions.)

Humans fear the unknown. If we did not I could leave my home right now and back pack across the world living as a homeless French speaking poet, but I am afraid of the unknown. Maybe this is why so many people fear other groups of people - because they are unknown? 

This must be it. This must be it because if it they did know, if they knew how gorgeous that group of people were... then they would spend 1000 life times crying at the words they spoke.

I feel every human has the obligation to themselves to learn about the world around them to not only better themselves but to better the world because if we all lived in little cocoons of our own... well then the world would be quite dull.

You need not agree or even like what you see out there in the great world... but you should know of it. The real just of it and not the insane views of other people that only see something 'unknown'. Don't judge what you do not know... it's pointless...

Don't judge a group on a single person... If we were all to do that then:

1. I'd be afraid of every Caucasian individual being they might be running around in a white clock and pointy white hat.

2. I'd be scared of all Asian kitchens because they'd be drinking down some mercury.

It sounds silly. So why do some people do it?

Gah. I'm fed up.

I'm so fed up with the ignorance of the world and my feeling of helplessness. I wish I could go into every single home of every single human being and make them feel emotions again... because if you can't love everyone then you have not known love.

We're all going somewhere. We may be travelling on different paths and at different speeds - but we're all going somewhere whether you believe that it is merely to your death or something beyond... you're going somewhere. And when we get wherever you think or I think we are going... will it have mattered?

Will it have mattered that I called it Vaheguru, or he called it Allah, or she called it The Lord or that some chose not to call it anything? Will it have mattered?

Or will you have made it to your destination without experiencing true love?

I'm disappointed in my fellow human beings because we've forgotten how to love.

The missing puzzle piece

Something has been troubling me lately.

That's great Parveen, would you mind sharing?

I think I've been sharing with anyone who has been willing to listen. Bottling up emotions was never really my strength.

Here is my issue:

Everyone keeps rambling on and on about how the Sikh Paa(n)th needs to flourish and how many outside forces are stopping that from happening... yet those same people seem to be pushing the most people out.

This seems sorta counter productive.

Now I know I'll be generalizing to the extreme here just so I can bring home the point, but rest assured I know this is obviously not everyone.

Observation:

A young innocent boy is volunteering at the Gurdwara (somewhere he is not usually found) and as he watches over the group of children playing a Singh approaches him. Great!...not not. This Singh then continues to shake his hand in the most "laugh laugh laugh, like I actually want to talk to you and I am only doing this to make fun of your presence here" way. It was not well covered up as I from across the room could see this.

Possible results?:

1. Young innocent boy never returns to the Gurdwara in fear of those already into Sikhi making fun of him for trying to become apart of something he thought was great.

2. Young innocent boy never returns to the Gurdwara and continues on in life hating Sikhs in general.

3. Young innocent boy never returns to the Gurdwara in fear of those already into Sikhi, hates all Sikhs in general and for the rest of his life spreads to anyone he comes across that Sikhi is full of pompous wannabes.

Great.

Now I know I should have spoke out in the moment... but I'll admit in the situation I felt like a bit of an eavesdropped and I wasn't exactly comfortable approaching any of mentioned people above. I know this isn't an excuse... I realize I failed so I thought I'd do the normal cowardly thing - blog about it.

Issues:

How can anyone ever come into the Sikh Paa(n)th when the people already involved are pushing them away? It pains me to say... I'm disappointed in my generation. We're all so wound up in the newest kirtan track, the coolest new kirpans and that wicked status Unknown Singh/Kaur posted up on Facebook, but what about actually practicing our faith? What happened to acceptance, love and compassion? Obviously they we're pushed aside so we could take dramatic pictures that make us look very spiritual, obviously.

I know I'm being too harsh.

I know.

But hey, oh well that innocent young boy will now just spend life without Sikhi because we found it funny in the moment, we found it funny in the moment to attack a blind soul searching for the door to Guru Sahib.

Yeah, funny.

*excuse the extreme lack of intelligent writing skill-age in this blogpost

Speech Meet '11 - since y'all been askin'

Titled: Self Suppression

Good afternoon distinguished judges, fellow competitors and most appreciated guests. I am Parveen Sarana from L.A. Matheson Secondary School and today, I'll be sharing my stand point on the age old quarry of women's rights... or rather the lack of. But I assure you this will not be one of those fact filled old history lessons, so sit back and take a journey into the mind of a teenage woman drowning in a degrading society.

My epiphany occurred as I sat in my grade 12 creative writing class as my classmates and I participated in a discussion... when someone posed the random unrelated question (now excuse my memory here, as this may not be exact) “Why is it that in some cultures men expect women to do things they don't do themselves?” This perfectly curious question sent my neurons transmitting impulses in hyper drive and I realized it is not the men – it's us...

I can see that you are disbelieving but imagine for a moment the cover of any magazine whether it be Cosmopolitan or Sports Illustrated – notice the scantly clad woman with all her * ahem * curves all exposed and underneath in white block lettering “True Beauty – Achievable in 10 simple steps!” Now pause... in our society we believe in the wise words of Tyra Banks, “She is fierce! She is sexy, she is confidant with her body! - She is beautiful!”

Switch scenarios to walking down the street. It is a crisp summer morning and as you walk along the cold concrete you notice a woman wearing a burka – a full length garment covering her entire body. Immediately our society thinks in the words of Kenza Drider, an average woman as quoted in an article done by CBC, “it's against individual liberty, no against liberty of conscience!” She is being pent up! She is suppressed, she is ashamed of her being! - she is ugly!

Here is where I hit the disconnect.

Am I as a teenage woman meant to look up to – excuse my generalization – bikini models and anorexic auto-tuned signers all while I look forward to botox?

Long gone are the dreams of Mary Shelly or Nellie McClung and the famous five.

Equality now stands for being able to get away with short shorts in the office and suing all those animistic men who gawk at you.

Empowerment now translates to being able to dress in the most degrading outfit because that means you, you are free.

Freedom is now found on the cover of PlayBoy magazine.

It seems that on the way to the land of equality, we women got lost somewhere on self suppression lane. But have no fear, because we can become the activists of today, the famous many of today! I have hope.

We complained of being treated like objects. We despised being forced to fit the stereotypes of our gender. We claimed to be suppressed... but in reality we have began misusing all our new found 'freedom', we have brought the worst upon ourselves.

I have hope because if I am able to realize the beauty in a woman who as the self respect to not show off her body like some sort of object. If I can realize the beauty in a woman who has the courage to stand against the grain of society. If I can see the indescribable beauty of a woman who holds values that are without superficial nature. Then I have hope, that you can too. Because I can see that the woman you passed in our imaginary crisp summer morning walk is beautiful, because she can see what she truly is – priceless.

Now do not get me wrong, I do not intend for us all to cover ourselves completely in order to be of any worth. BUT we women have criticized, misjudged and played the blame game for too long. We have allowed ourselves to sink new lows all in the falsely led pursuit of equality.

Today a woman may be able to vote – but she is not free.

No, we will not be free until she quits blaming those around her and begins to understand that we are doing this to ourselves. We allow ourselves to be perceived in such a way that we have created our own suppression.

As a lotus flower is able to float a top a pond of dirty water, without hurting those around it or sinking into the crookedness down below. We need to strive to be above the corrupt norms of society.

Because true beauty is not defined by the amount of skin you show, but by the elegant nature that you able to spread positivity into the world around you through accepting yourself for what you are and in turn everyone around you.

True beauty is is achievable in but one simple step – self love.